Usually by this time, I’m already asleep and not thinking about what I am wanting right now. Being single, as I am, has many great benefits but one main downfall: loneliness. The way I feel about it isn’t an all consuming sentiment, but mostly it makes me think why. Why is it that I’m still awake? Why isn’t someone taking my attention instead of no one leaving my mind to wander elsewhere? Why is it that I am the way that I am?
Once in a while I’ll think about a particular relationship from high school (when on more than one occasion I gladly ruined the whole thing just as it could’ve progressed into something more meaningful). I’m not trying to fill the space with anyone — but it would be nice to lie down next to someone who’s softer and cooler to the touch than me, yet warmer than the extra pillow.
I guess all I’m really saying is I’d be okay if something just fell into place. Ironically when it does come around, I usually shy away from it pretty quickly.