Today I got to thinking about how many times a day I say “I’m sorry” versus the number of times I actually feel sorry for something that I’ve done or said. I would estimate that less than 50% of the time I really feel bad about my actions. After all, I am the one thinking and acting — good or bad, positive or negative. I’m not talking about pushing someone down stairs or stealing someone’s book bag, because those aren’t the kinds of situations in which I would not put myself. I mean normal everyday stuff that just seems to happen. For example, when you’re walking around and you’re headed directly towards someone. You both try to avoid each other and you both go in the same direction again.. a couple of times. As you finally stop walking and get around that person you both invariably apologize to each other. Does that make sense? Neither party is genuinely sorry and rightfully so… so then why mention the sorry? I’m sure there are people out there who truly feel sorry about every last thing, but I’m not worried about them… this is about me and those like me.
I may feel like an idiot for accidentally walking into someone because I’m not paying attention to what I’m doing, but a good majority of the time I don’t feel sorry… I feel stupid. If I knock someone over and hurt them then that’s a different story, but otherwise I’m merely masking my stupidity through an apology. What’s that about? Obviously I’m at fault, but does the fact that I would say sorry (especially when I don’t mean it) to someone really placate them? Is that what people want to hear, and if so is that enough?
Furthermore, such behavior can be applied to almost every facet of life — most importantly in relationships with other people. It seems to me most folks in them want to be appeased, and they don’t care about (or even need) genuine emotion. It’s the willingness to accept someone else’s meaningless apology that undermines other’s sincerity.