The most predictable human defense is denial. When you fall down and scrape your elbow or knee, the first thing you want to prove is that everything is completely in order. You stand up, take a few steps and as the shock wears off you realize that you’re hurting. In my case the same holds true for less tangible events such as feeling alone or being overwelmed. The obvious difference is how I mask what I’m feeling in both situations. If I have inner pain it’s much each easier to ignore or to be incognizant of the source, therefore there is no initial shock to wear off. As a result, I don’t necessarily feel what I should feel in order to heal.
If a friendship is ending or a relationship is breaking down, most everyone rushes to find a solution and avoids dealing with what is there. I don’t know if its avoiding anxiety, protecting the ego, or simply maintaining repression, but I believe the majority of people are generally afraid of feeling anything. Whether it be physical or emotional, in pain or in love, it’s unnatural to go through life being unresponsive to these basic human emotions.
Being able to feel is one thing that sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. Even though it’s unhealthy to be sad or lonely all the time, be able to embrace the rare times that you are because it’ll make the otherwise unimportant moments stand out.