Some people have heard me talk about this for a while now, mostly at work when my girl friends talk about how they are treated by men. Very few do I hear from guys but that’s most likely due to the double standard in dating. Not all stories are bad, but for the most part it’s kind of sad they way people are treated.
Overall, I’d venture to guess there are at most five people with whom you could make a solid connection with in a romantic sense. That isn’t to say you won’t meet more than five or even ten people in your life that you will have feelings for, but that there are only five people that you will come across in which a long term relationship can exist. By long term I mean ending up together and making a life with each other. Perhaps it won’t last an entire lifetime, but at least it has (or had) that potential. Such a person will test everything you’ve got, and unknowingly you will do the same. The rough spots won’t seem so rough, and the small things will seem larger than they are. That’s what happens when two people are compatible and do what they do. Furthermore, I’m not implying that something will exist with all (or any) of the five. They are merely put into your life at some random point to test you. What you do or do not do about it is your choice. The reality, though, is most likely you will not encounter all of the initial five. I’ve dated a good number of people and who knows if I’ve met one of my five. Obviously nothing has panned out thus far, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t met any of them. I could’ve just not acted on anything and ultimately that is my fault. We all want to believe that love is some magical thing that takes everything else away and leaves nothing but smiles and happiness. Unfortunately that isn’t what I’ve experienced and I’m better for it.
Probably the only thing more disconcerting than the pessimistic tone of what I’m currently writing is those couples who are forcing it to work. A relationship, by default, requires some form of effort in order to succeed. I’m not confusing the give and take for the outright forcing of making something out of what has become nothing. People struggle, relationships struggle, but I’ve learned when it’s at its end and therefore I feel others should follow suit and get rid of those things that weigh them down. The naive belief that by working now all will be right in the end is so futile I can’t stand it. You can’t fake feelings but you also cannot fix fundamental problems that will inevitably keep resurfacing. Mentally changing is difficult, I understand this, and physically changing is even harder. That doesn’t alter the fact that if you are stuck in a situation remotely similar to what I am describing, that you are actually hurting yourself and you are certainly not helping your relationship. Feel free to refuse to believe me, but some things aren’t meant to happen no matter how much effort is exerted. Let it go, because unless you’ve exhausted your other five options, there’s still a chance… otherwise, there are worse things than being single — like being stupid.