the path

When I hear something like the following, all I want to do is die:

“… congratulations to [some person] and their team over at [some company] …”

It seems fake, impersonal, and the fact that people seem to be so eager to use it makes me want to crawl into a world where the the word team has been forgotten. We as a society need to think of new diction and come up with another way to describe a group of people working towards a common goal.

I cannot possibly describe how much I hate when I hear or read these three words together: maybe, just maybe. Mostly I’ll hear it in films when some underdog character is trying overcome insurmountable odds. Recently, though, I read it in a novel and I put the book down immediately. I have zero interest in ever continuing it again.

I think the biggest reason why I don’t like is because the situations in which its used is too melodramatic and thus makes the plot seem instantly lame. I can’t even write any more about it because it’s making me cringe.

What is with the smug, arrogant sons of bitches that get off by making you believe they must be the smartest people alive? Case in point, on Wednesday (10/06/2004) I was sitting in the computer lab when a classmate of mine sits down a few chairs away from me. I’m working on some signal processing homework when I ask the person if he has started the homework that’s due in five days. His response was classic: a soft laugh to himself followed by the verbal justification of his body language, “It’s due when? Monday morning, right? So that means I’ll start it, oh I don’t know… sometime late on Sunday night.” I couldn’t help but think this person thinks I’m a real idiot because it’s Wednesday and I’m already working on the homework. As the rational and reasonable part of my brain took hold I decided this guy just made me write him off as an ass. This guy is nothing but weak and has some ego that must be maintained by acting with such a false bravado. Such a pretense is a joke, and removes all credibility he could possibly have when talking to anyone.

There is no way this homework can be done in one sitting — the topic is too dull, too difficult, and too dense. In fact, I don’t care if he could ace the homework or tests because in that instant he revealed enough about his personality to make me not ever want to be associated with him. It’s not even that he could possibly do the work that irks me, it’s the way he makes it known that he’s the DSP king. It you know your stuff then execute, don’t be a jerk about it.

Well what do I know.. it’s Friday and I’m almost done. At least now I can stop bitching and continue looking forward to watching Sunday night football.

I don’t understand the reasoning behind the proverbial hint, when it comes to getting it or taking one. The psychology behind it… I don’t understand that either. Isn’t it easier to be direct, and don’t people rather have others be direct with them? Perhaps it’s a feeling of superiority over another person that people need because for once they don’t want to be around someone who wants to be around them. We all do it, and my question is why. I’ll try as best I can to evaluate both perspectives of the hinter and the hintee.

The hinter is in a position of power. That must be what is so appealing, or is it the fact that the hinter is the better person by exuding niceness in every way possible. This includes not wanting to have you around, but not having the courage to tell you what is up. Someone is not being “too nice” to say anything. In fact the hinter is completely void of compassion in that respect. I’m sure this type of person is never the idiot. All sarcasm aside, I can see how this behavior propagates because it is easier to not tell someone they’re not wanted than it is to tell someone they’re not welcome. It shows a lack of respect and an inability to communicate effectively.

Now that leaves us with the hintee. Obviously something is wrong with this clown because his or her desire is meaningless and is more often than not a bother or an inconvenience. Utterly pathetic, but seemingly oblivious. The sweet irony of the sitaution prevents this character from being all-knowing. Besides, who honestly believes that someone would want to give them a hint? People always speak their minds… don’t they?

I’m not bitter about anything that happened, and I could understand how it would seem as though I am indeed upset. There’s no specific inspiration for why I’m writing this other than I’m simply tired of the way people treat each other. It’s petty and sad. In the past I know I’ve been guilty of being the hinter, but I’ve also been on receiving side. Either position is unpleasant, but tell me straight up — I’ll respect you more. I’m sure you’d want the same.

Why is it that we as humans always have the need to escape from everything?

It isn’t why we escape that concerns me, I think it’s more of how. I would estimate around 80% of the movies or TV shows I watch are complete garbage. Of the remaining 20% that I find to be entertaining, I would say only 25% (or 1/20) make me think and probably 10% (1/50) have a profound effect on the way I look at life. How come the remaining 19 (or 49, for that matter) have no positive influence on me at all? I do realize that saying something lacks a ‘positive influence’ on me is a subjective statement so I’ll attempt to be more specific with a couple of examples.

By a positive influence I mean that the content doesn’t project an aura of uselessness to me. With that argument, one would be safe to assume that I don’t care how it affects anyone else. As long as I get something useful then I’m happy. One of my favorite films is Good Will Hunting. I remember the first time I saw it (and where I was sitting and what time of day), and at the end I was full of hope that I too could be that intelligent. Obviously the unrealistic nature of the movie sticks in my head but since then, each time I see it or parts of it, or even right now as I write this, that uplifting sentiment is perpetuated and for a few seconds it doesn’t matter what else is on my mind because I’m reminded of the hope that I achieved with that escape.

It’s a little known fact that I discovered Dawson’s Creek about six years after the show first aired. In any event, I’m glad I did because it has allowed me to be nostalgic and to remember a little about what it was like to be in high school, to really like the person I’m closest to and not be able to tell them, or to feel like my problems were the only ones. Above all else, I like the notion that there are people who look at the world without a veil of cynicism and only see the purity and wholesomeness of life. That’s something I can relate to because it’s something I want.

I’m certainly not above escapism but the phenomena makes me think. Of course fantasy is a necessity of life because otherwise it wouldn’t be possible to feel the emotions of hope or excitement. Looking forward to something that hasn’t yet been realized (and may never be) would be impossible. Perhaps my sense of reality has been deluded but without the symbiotic relationship between escapism and realism, I think my life wouldn’t be worth it.